Our fearless hero slowly trudges in to work, covered in snow, exhausted and sore. While trekking through the arctic wilderness known as Edmonton, he saw a woman in distress. Her car, stuck in the parking lot at the bottom of a deep snow covered hill. Our hero stopped to see if the woman had freed her car by rocking it back and forth.
Seeing that it was still stuck, he set his lunch bag down in a snowbank to keep it's contents cold and walked over to the stuck woman and offered his assistance. She graciously accepted his offer. Our hero looking at the tires on the woman's car stated "You really should have a set of proper winter tires!", the woman sighed and replied "I know... I've been fine up until now!". Our hero chuckled and walked behind the car ready to push.
Slowly making progress out of the snow covered parking lot, our hero gives the car a large push, but oh no! His feet slip out from under him, time slows to a crawl as he feels his feet entering the air, the bumper of the woman's car getting very large in his field of view very quickly. But with reflexes of a cat, our hero quickly puts his hands infront of him to cushion his descent and prevent himself from kissing a mud and snow covered bumper. The woman seeing our hero quickly dissaper from view stop her car and pokes her head out the driver's side window. "Are you all right?" She asks. "No slip can stop me! Now lets get your car free!" Our hero replies standing up and brushing the snow off his pants. Clapping his hands together hard to shake free the snow stuck to them, he positions himself again to continue pushing.
The car, slowly moving out of the parking lot and up the snow covered hill. The smell of burning rubber filling our hero's nose. The muscles in his arms, legs and back aching as he strains to push the car out of the snow and up the hill. His ankles are sore and bent at an odd angle to help give him maximum grip in the loose and slippery snow. His lungs burned as he breathed the cold arctic air. He wanted to give up, but no! He could not! The woman was almost free. Giving one huge push, the car moved forward. One foot, two feet, three feet. Its distance from the snow filled parking lot increased at a steady pace!
Feeling a new sense of strength, our hero pushed harder on the car, helping it to begin its slow climb up the snow packed hill. Feeling his feet begin to slip, he shouts for the woman to stop. Her car sliding to a halt our hero stands up and cracks his neck. Looking back at how far they've traveled, he is pleased with his effort thus far. But the woman is far from rescued.
Seeing a man coming out of his home, our hero waves him over and asks for assistance. Surely with two of them they will have this woman rescued in no time, but twas not the case, for the woman's car was not in a cleared out tire track but was trying to plow through a mound of snow. The friendly citizen tells our hero that he is going to get his shovel. When he returns, he beings to dig out the front of the car. "Alright, lets give'er another go!" he says to the woman and our hero and takes up position at the rear of the car. The two men pushed hard as the car struggled to climb up the hill. The car, only climbing another 6 feet, comes to a halt. It won't move any more, and both men are now very exhausted.
But what's this, a 3rd person walking by has offered to help. Digging out the front of the car more, the three men push with all their might, as the car slowly reaches the top of the hill. One file push and the car is free. But the 3 men see the woman brake. Yelling and waving at her to keep going, she stops, gets out of her car and thanks her 3 saviors, before continuing on her journey. Our hero thanks the two citizens for their assistance, he continues his now slow journey to his place of employment.
The End
Moral of the story: USE WINTER TIRES DAMNIT!
Such a noble egghead you are!
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