The tale of the winter rescue (true story)

Our fearless hero slowly trudges in to work, covered in snow, exhausted and sore. While trekking through the arctic wilderness known as Edmonton, he saw a woman in distress. Her car, stuck in the parking lot at the bottom of a deep snow covered hill. Our hero stopped to see if the woman had freed her car by rocking it back and forth.

Seeing that it was still stuck, he set his lunch bag down in a snowbank to keep it's contents cold and walked over to the stuck woman and offered his assistance. She graciously accepted his offer. Our hero looking at the tires on the woman's car stated "You really should have a set of proper winter tires!", the woman sighed and replied "I know... I've been fine up until now!". Our hero chuckled and walked behind the car ready to push.

Slowly making progress out of the snow covered parking lot, our hero gives the car a large push, but oh no! His feet slip out from under him, time slows to a crawl as he feels his feet entering the air, the bumper of the woman's car getting very large in his field of view very quickly. But with reflexes of a cat, our hero quickly puts his hands infront of him to cushion his descent and prevent himself from kissing a mud and snow covered bumper. The woman seeing our hero quickly dissaper from view stop her car and pokes her head out the driver's side window. "Are you all right?" She asks. "No slip can stop me! Now lets get your car free!" Our hero replies standing up and brushing the snow off his pants. Clapping his hands together hard to shake free the snow stuck to them, he positions himself again to continue pushing.

The car, slowly moving out of the parking lot and up the snow covered hill. The smell of burning rubber filling our hero's nose. The muscles in his arms, legs and back aching as he strains to push the car out of the snow and up the hill. His ankles are sore and bent at an odd angle to help give him maximum grip in the loose and slippery snow. His lungs burned as he breathed the cold arctic air. He wanted to give up, but no! He could not! The woman was almost free. Giving one huge push, the car moved forward. One foot, two feet, three feet. Its distance from the snow filled parking lot increased at a steady pace!

Feeling a new sense of strength, our hero pushed harder on the car, helping it to begin its slow climb up the snow packed hill. Feeling his feet begin to slip, he shouts for the woman to stop. Her car sliding to a halt our hero stands up and cracks his neck. Looking back at how far they've traveled, he is pleased with his effort thus far. But the woman is far from rescued.

Seeing a man coming out of his home, our hero waves him over and asks for assistance. Surely with two of them they will have this woman rescued in no time, but twas not the case, for the woman's car was not in a cleared out tire track but was trying to plow through a mound of snow. The friendly citizen tells our hero that he is going to get his shovel. When he returns, he beings to dig out the front of the car. "Alright, lets give'er another go!" he says to the woman and our hero and takes up position at the rear of the car. The two men pushed hard as the car struggled to climb up the hill. The car, only climbing another 6 feet, comes to a halt. It won't move any more, and both men are now very exhausted.

But what's this, a 3rd person walking by has offered to help. Digging out the front of the car more, the three men push with all their might, as the car slowly reaches the top of the hill. One file push and the car is free. But the 3 men see the woman brake. Yelling and waving at her to keep going, she stops, gets out of her car and thanks her 3 saviors, before continuing on her journey. Our hero thanks the two citizens for their assistance, he continues his now slow journey to his place of employment.

The End

Moral of the story: USE WINTER TIRES DAMNIT!

The Last Ones - Chapter One

Josh slung his rifle over his shoulder and looked at the door leading in to the alleyway. "I wish this was all over." he said to no one in particular. Clicking on his flashlight, he reached for the doorknob, taking a deep breath he turned it and opened it very slowly.

CCCCRRRRREEEEEAAAAKKKKKK

"Fucking door..." he swears under his breath as he quickly turns off his flashlight, pockets it and pulls out his rifle. His heart racing and beating so fast all he can hear is THUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP in his head. Aiming down the sights he looked down the alleyway, away from where he's going to be heading to make sure nothing is there.

Exhaling slowly, Josh turned and faced the end of the alley and began making his way to the street.

Rustle rustle rustle

In one smooth motion, Josh dropped to one knee to stabilize himself better. He brought his rifle up to his shoulder and aimed down the sights, looking for any form of movement; his heart pounding in his head again.

THUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP rustle rustle rustle

Josh turned just in time to see a zombie jump on him. The zombie's mouth chomping wildly as Josh pushed his rifle against it, trying to fight it off. The stench from its rotting flesh burning Josh's nostrils.

"I ain't.... FOOD!" Josh shouted as he pushed the zombie off of him. Rolling to his side, Josh scrambled to his feet and brought his rifle up to his shoulder and took aim. The zombie fumbling as it stood back up and turned to look at Josh. The zombie's mouth opened and began to unleash a haunting moan, until Josh pulled the trigger and unleashed a 3 round burst in to the zombie; its head exploded and splattered against the wall.

Josh followed the zombie's lifeless body as it slumped to the ground, and only when he was sure it wasn’t getting back up did he realize that he was holding his breath. Letting out a long slow breath, he listened carefully for any more shuffling. Satisfied that no other zombies were coming, he walked up to the now headless body, pointed his rifle at it and pulled the trigger.

Thunk!

"Damnit!" Josh said as pulled the side of the rifle up to his face and pulled back on the slider. "I can't wait until I find a proper rifle." he sighed as he saw a round jammed in the chamber. "These M16's are such garbage. No wonder they were called Mattel guns." Josh cleared the jammed round and figured it was for the best that the rifle didn't fire. No point in notifying any zombies in the area.

Josh turned and jogged down the alley, kicking the body on the way by. The zombie has already made him late in meeting up with the rest of his group.

Finally reaching the street, Josh crouched behind a nearby dumpster. Ejecting the clip and seeing how many bullets are left, he sighed and looks around. "Only 9 rounds left. I need to find more ammo, and as long as this piece of crap doesn't jam again I hope this lasts. I'm getting tired of using this gun as a club. Although it seems more useful that way." he said to himself.

Peeking over the dumpster, looking for any stray zombies, he realized that it's getting dark, and quickly. "Where the hell are the...", before he could finish the sentence, Josh heard more shuffling coming up behind him quickly. Pulling back the slider, loading another round in to the chamber he spun around and aimed his rifle down the street.

"HEY! Don't shoot!" Tom said as he and Chelsey ran up beside Josh and crouched down.

"Where the hell have you two been?!" Josh yelled quietly, "I was just about a mid-afternoon snack back there!"

"Sorry, I had um.. hurt my back going through that house, sooooo..." Chelsey trailed off.

"I had to help her out, ya know, make her feel better." Tom finished, winking at Chelsey.

"Uh huh. Just be careful next time, I could have shot you!" Josh replied. "We need to head down the street, 3 blocks. Ralph said that he's found a safe place for us for the night. How much ammo do you guys have left?"

"I've got a full clip, so about 15 rounds." said Tom. Chelsey ejected the clip from her Glock and squinted at the side, "Um... I think I have 6 left." she slid the clip back in to the grip and grabbed the slider.

"Don't do that! You'll waste a round!" Josh said putting a hand on the top of the gun. "This isn't a movie; you can't just go cocking your gun all willy nilly!"

“LAWL! You said cock… like a penis!” Tom laughed and Chelsey slapped him upside the head.

"Sorry." Chelsey said lowering the gun. "Is it clear?"

"Looks to be, I think if we move quickly we should be able to get to Ralph in maybe 10 minutes." Tom said peeking over the dumpster. "Let’s try and do this as quietly as possible." Josh and Chelsey both nod and stand up. Looking around and seeing that the coast is clear, Josh waved for the 3 of them to head out.

"Keep your weapon ready." Josh whispered as he placed the butt of his rifle against his shoulder. Tom did the same. Chelsey took out her flashlight and held it in front of her, resting her gun hand on her wrist to steady herself.

We may the last people alive... Josh thought to himself as he ran beside Chelsey down the street. I hope Lindsay is ok.

Tom suddenly stopped and held up his fist, signaling the others to freeze.

"I hear something." He said raising his rifle. "I hear it too." Josh replied, and Chelsey nodded in agreement. She slowly moved her flashlight over the street, stopping on a pizza parlour. Josh took a few steps towards the window, noticed that the glass is broken and that there are some bodies inside. Creeping slowly towards the restaurant he hears what sounds like flesh being ripped apart and bones breaking.

"There are 2 of them inside." Josh whispered. "Lower your light; we don't want them to know we're here." Chelsey nodded as she turned off the flashlight. Josh motioned to Tom to take the zombie on the right, and he'd take the one on the left. They slowly walked up to the two crouched zombies, weapons raised. Josh motioned to Tom to use single round in the head. Tom nodded in confirmation and flicked the firing selector on his rifle to single shot mode, took aim, and almost in unison Josh and Tom each fired a single round in to the heads of the two zombies. Their faces, or what’s left of them, exploded, and the bodies fell over limp.

Josh motioned for Chelsey to join them. As she walked over and turned on her flashlight the three of them finally saw what the zombies were consuming.

"Poor guy was still alive when they started feasting." Tom said as Josh crouched down beside the corpse. "Most are. I don't think the zombies eat dead people." Josh replied.

"I found his wallet," Chelsey whispered as she opened it shining her flashlight on it. "His name was Alex Red. 21, from Cal... Cal... Some place in Canada, I can't make it out."

"Calgary... he's a fellow Canuck." Josh said pulling a table cloth off of a nearby table and covering the body with it. Come on, we gotta keep moving. Hopefully those gunshots didn't alert any zombies."

Tom and Chelsey nod and made their way out of the restaurant. Josh sighed and stood up, "Bye Alex. I hope you fought well." Josh grabbed his rifle off the floor and headed out.

"Are you coming?" Tom called back to Josh. "Ya, I'm on my way." Josh replied jogging up to the other two. "Look, there's Ralph!" Josh said pointing to a building just up the street. Tom and Chelsey started jogging towards it.

"Ralph! Hey Ralph!" Tom yelled, waving his arms. "Hey! Tom! Shut it!" Josh yelled after him. "That guy is gonna get us killed..." Josh sighed and started running after them.

"Tom!" Josh said reaching for Tom, but as he grabbed his shoulder, Josh slipped, taking both himself and Tom crashing to the ground. As they fell, Tom's rifle banged in to the car beside them setting off the alarm.

"SHIT!" Chelsey shouted as she raised her gun. "Guys, get up! They're coming!" Tom and Josh could barely hear Chelsey over the moaning as zombies started shuffling, stumbling and walking on to the street. Josh and Tom clambered to their feet. "I can't find my gun!" Josh yelled as Tom fired off a few bursts at the oncoming hoard. "Josh, Run!" Tom yelled.

Josh climbed to his feet and started running towards the building. "Ralph! Open the goddamn door!" Just as Josh got to the building, the door swung open and Ralph stepped out.

"Hey zombies! Say hello to my little friend!" He yelled to the hoard and began firing his machine gun as Josh ducked and slid past in to the building.

"Tom, Chelsey! Get in here!" Ralph yelled as he took aim at a zombie approaching Chelsey and fired a round through its head. Chelsey flinched as blood sprayed her cheek. "AAAHHHHH!!!" Chelsey screamed and wiped her cheek. "Damnit Ralph! Warn me next time."

"Ya, next time you might have a zombie taking a big bite out of that juicy brain of yours. Now get your skinny ass in here!" Chelsey stuck her tongue out at Ralph and grabbed Tom by the arm. "Come on!" She said and ran towards the building.

Ralph took down a few more zombies as Tom and Chelsey ran past him. Ralph slammed the door shut and placed a board across it before walking in to the secure room, slamming the 8" steel security door closed and placing the security bar across securing it.

Resting against the wall, Ralph looked over at Josh, Tom and Chelsey. "What took you guys so long?"

"Well, these two were um... making Chelsey’s back feel better," Josh said and looked over at Chelsey who was snuggling up to Tom.

"What? We did!" Tom said, sticking his tongue out at Josh.

"And I got attacked in an alley, and then we had to dispatch a couple of zombies who were pigging out on...“ Josh paused and sighs, "On a fellow Canadian."

"Oh... I'm sorry Josh." Ralph replied, walking over to Josh and placing his hand on his shoulder. "Well, I think we should all get some sleep. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Josh walked over to the one window in the room and closed the curtains blocking out the street. "Better turn off those lights, we don't want anything to see us in here." Josh told Ralph as he closed the blinds on the security door.

"Let’s all get comfy!" Ralph said as he turned off the last light. "Nite everyone!"

As the 4 survivors lay on makeshift beds in the tiny room, outside the building all they cound hear was the shuffling and moaning of the living dead, a sound so haunting that would give nightmares to even the hardest of people. If anyone had wondered what hell was like... this was it.

Shaw and their overages...

So Shaw has decided in their infinite wisdom that they are going to start charging overage fees on internet access. So far this is a "pilot program" just in Edmonton. This is a load of crap. They feel that we should be happy with a 3-25GB cap increase and then be happy to pay more on top of that if we need more! And don't bother asking them why their upload speeds are so low. They don't think that consumers need more than 1Mb upload (or less depending on which plan you go with). Their fastest upload package is 3Mb... That's a little better, but it's on their fastest service which is almost $100/mo. Ya.... That's not going to happen.

So, after talking to a Shaw CSR about these overages, and having to sign up for more data (with 3 gamers, and 3 heavy downloaders in the house, we burn through our cap pretty quickly), I asked for a way to file an official complaint about this overages scam. She told me that they've been getting a lot of people lately complaining about the overages and are looking for a way to voice those concerns/complaints, so she gave me a website that goes to a complaints section. Here is what I wrote.

My issue is with the new 'overages' charges. This is nothing but a money grab for Shaw. With the cost of equipment going down there is no excuse for this. Especially since Shaw pays pennies per GB on internet to begin with. I think that Shaw makes enough money that they can afford to increase caps or hey, why not offer an unlimited option? That'd be a great feature! And no, changing to a higher internet plan is not an option!

 Pretty straightforward do you think? Well, this is the reply that I got.

We do need to put a limit on this at some point to avoid having customers overusing the internet.  This can cost us quite a bit in actuality.  We did also increase the caps for each package recently.  We increased the cap on High speed lite from 10GB per month to 13GB per month, High speed from 60GB per month to 75GB per month and Extreme from 100GB per month to 125GB per month.  Just like with any other consumable product, if you want more, you should expect to pay more.  We cannot go out to eat at a restaurant and request more on our plate and pay the same amount.  This is something that we have tried very hard to avoid and we feel that this will be the solution.  If we let our customers know, ahead of time, they will have the opportunity to upgrade if needed or use less bandwidth if they cannot afford the higher packages.  Again, we’re sorry that you feel that this will not be a positive change but we are certain that it will prevent users from abusing available bandwidth, ultimately making the experience of using Shaw internet much better.  Thank you for taking the time to provide us with your feedback.  Have a wonderful holiday season.

Ya, that's a load of crap in my opinion. Why is it that other ISP's in Canada, North America and around the world can offer much much higher caps, or unlimited bandwidth and faster speeds. I've got friends in the US who have downloads that are 4x as fast as what I have, and 10x the upload and pay no more than I do. Why is it that the US, Europe even Australia can offer much faster internet speeds, yet Canadian ISP's cant?

The biggest answer to that lies with the CRTC. They seem content on setting up rules, regulations, etc that will benefit the companies and not the consumers. Why can't the CRTC do more like the FTC in the US, where they seem to be actually TRYING to help consumers. But that's just a pipe dream eh.

My advice to any Shaw customers, is to call Shaw and complain to them about these overage fees, and the fact that they seem content on trying to screw over customers. And to demand that our internet speeds and prices are more on par with what those in the US get.

New Story - Coming soon

The first part of my new story is almost finished. Its just going through some proof reading and final editing before being published. I'm really excited about this one and I hope that everyone who reads it will enjoy it!

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Bell finally releases Froyo

Wow! Its only taken bell what, 3 months to get Froyo out to Samsung Galaxy S users? Hopefully this fixes a number of crashing and networking dropping issues... Time will tell. If you have a Bell Samsung Galaxy S Vibrant then you can update to Froyo using Kies.

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Testing

Just grabbed a blogging tool for android. Lets see how well it works

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New

Well, this is my new blog. Fancy eh? To be honest I'm not sure what to write in here... I guess I'm just writing for the hell of it.

I do plan on writing some short stories that are completely random, and some may even start in the middle of a story. Maybe one day I'll finish some, but for now, they're just going to be very random...

TSC/Star Trek weird crossover story thingy...

TrainAss stood over the creature formally known as Darth_Indy. She lay on the ground, just barely keeping herself upright.

"Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?" she asked. Her metallic voice filled with static after the damage she sustained.

"Because I don't kill lesser life forms!" TrainAss said with a grin. He watched her as she started to force herself to her knees. Commander Virus leaned over to TrainAss and whispered in to his ear, "Sir, I don't think that was a smart thing to say."

"You know, I think you're right Mr. Pathogen!" TrainAss replied taking a step back. Darth_Indy was now almost standing. Tubes sprung from her shoulder, attaching themselves to her right arm that was being held on by flesh and pulling it back towards her shoulder. Her other arm began to bulge and bubble. Sharp spikes shot through her skin and split open, covering her arm in a dark grey metal. Darth_Indy's left hand began to lose its shape, turning more in to a blade with each passing moment.

Darth_Indy was now at her full height. TrainAss and Virus couldn't help but stare as they slowly backpedaled away from her. Where she once stood at a paltry 5 foot 5, she now stood at well over 6 feet tall, even towering TrainAss, who was 6 foot 3.

"Lesser… Life form?" Darth_Indy said, her eyes no longer human, glowed red and stared hard at TrainAss. "I'll show you, who is a lesser life form!" Darth_Indy jumped towards TrainAss and Virus knocking them over. Virus was the first to his feet as TrainAss rolled to avoid contact with the spinning saw blade that used to be Darth's left hand.

"Sir, I think we'd better get our asses out of here!" Virus said as he ducks to avoid losing his head to Darth's saw hand while helping TrainAss to his feet.

"Well, those of us that HAVE asses, I couldn't agree more!" TrainAss replied tapping his combadge. "Transporter room, get us the fuck out of here NOW!"

TrainAss and Virus both start running for a cave, hoping that they can make it inside before becoming a pile of bloody mush. Virus turned his head around to find that Darth_Indy has now increased in height by another 2 feet and is quickly gaining on them.

"If we die here, I'm going to make sure you come back as a piece of Klingon toilet paper!" Virus says as he picks up speed.

Just as the spinning saw blade is about to come down on TrainAss' head, the scenery around both Virus and TrainAss begins to brighten and shimmer, and the familiar whine of the transporter gets louder, until all they can see is a brilliant white light which begins to fade as the transporter room aboard the USS. Hawk begins to materialize around them.

"OWA, get us away from this planet as fast as you can! I don't care where, just go!" Virus says and looks at TrainAss. "You and I need to have a little chat." Virus growls at TrainAss as he leaves the transporter room, TrainAss following closely behind.